try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
