I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
