Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
