we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
