Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
