He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
God, I missed his penis.
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