Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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