if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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