i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You should frame my arrest warrant.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
