is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
