even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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