I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Randomize
