So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
