Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
A+ Viking dick
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
