is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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