I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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