Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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