You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
