If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
