i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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