Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
