I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
