Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
