I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
