You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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