check it out our google latitudes are spooning
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
