Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy

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(206): he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy http://tfl.nu/mh40

Replies (11) Good night (721) Bad night (5965)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.

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(704): First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka. http://tfl.nu/gxhu

Replies (16) Good night (5028) Bad night (1043)
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(916): View more from California

The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.

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(916): The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless. http://tfl.nu/34a1

Replies (27) Good night (6247) Bad night (1491)
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(206): View more from Washington

Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.

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(206): Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it. http://tfl.nu/rqou

Replies (9) Good night (1337) Bad night (3095)
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(815): View more from Illinois

Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.

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(815): Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight. http://tfl.nu/6hnz

Replies (12) Good night (3214) Bad night (843)
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(+36): View more from

until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.

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(+36): until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober. http://tfl.nu/a4ay

Replies (4) Good night (2291) Bad night (658)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty

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(732): I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty http://tfl.nu/54ho

Replies (11) Good night (909) Bad night (1542)
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(435): View more from Utah

Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night

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(435): Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night http://tfl.nu/xeqd

Replies (19) Good night (1992) Bad night (1295)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later

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(732): Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later http://tfl.nu/qouw

Replies (4) Good night (1034) Bad night (953)
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(217): View more from Illinois

Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you

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(217): Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you http://tfl.nu/bix8

Replies (9) Good night (1352) Bad night (963)
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(863): View more from Florida

We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.

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(863): We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth. http://tfl.nu/zjcp

Replies (1) Good night (813) Bad night (501)
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(334): View more from Alabama

We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"

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(334): We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!" http://tfl.nu/8nad

Replies (4) Good night (1690) Bad night (705)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)

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(860): And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?) http://tfl.nu/cs4u

Replies (4) Good night (596) Bad night (334)
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(352): View more from Florida

He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?

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(352): He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound? http://tfl.nu/fs09

Replies (3) Good night (1289) Bad night (370)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.

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(978): You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs. http://tfl.nu/aomg

Replies (1) Good night (833) Bad night (392)

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