Texts From Last Night

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  (714): View more from California

  I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.

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  (714): I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality. http://tfl.nu/yabq
  Replies (10) Good night (805) Bad night (1056)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him

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  (315): I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him http://tfl.nu/jvcn
  Replies (7) Good night (1167) Bad night (2426)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...

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  (281): I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness... http://tfl.nu/ikgx
  Replies (21) Good night (1067) Bad night (5673)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.

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  (801): She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex. http://tfl.nu/3ix3
  Replies (19) Good night (2351) Bad night (6093)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.

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  (330): he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away. http://tfl.nu/7b3j
  Replies (6) Good night (3384) Bad night (1011)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."

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  (905): He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING." http://tfl.nu/odsi
  Replies (3) Good night (2247) Bad night (938)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.

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  (303): I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume. http://tfl.nu/tvs1
  Replies (7) Good night (2608) Bad night (907)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle

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  (423): Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle http://tfl.nu/m7ud
  Replies (7) Good night (2051) Bad night (760)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.

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  (623): As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know. http://tfl.nu/mc6n
  Replies (8) Good night (2429) Bad night (904)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.

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  (573): I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt. http://tfl.nu/esr9
  Replies (7) Good night (1470) Bad night (960)
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  (559): View more from California

  Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.

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  (559): Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat. http://tfl.nu/iy5b
  Replies (4) Good night (996) Bad night (604)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window

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  (520): Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window http://tfl.nu/i5wv
  Replies (3) Good night (659) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!

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  (651): Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday! http://tfl.nu/4hno
  Replies (5) Good night (992) Bad night (453)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.

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  (850): Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids. http://tfl.nu/dauy
  Replies (5) Good night (1264) Bad night (717)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.

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  (785): You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised. http://tfl.nu/dvsv
  Replies (0) Good night (385) Bad night (305)

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