Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support

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  (313): I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support http://tfl.nu/by3u
  Replies (70) Good night (1282) Bad night (780)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?

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  (214): Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college? http://tfl.nu/yctk
  Replies (3) Good night (673) Bad night (2309)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter

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  (414): fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter http://tfl.nu/kvk4
  Replies (15) Good night (1086) Bad night (4504)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?

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  (720): My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this? http://tfl.nu/za6z
  Replies (18) Good night (6051) Bad night (1034)
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  (916): View more from California

  We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.

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  (916): We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever. http://tfl.nu/dui8
  Replies (12) Good night (4031) Bad night (1278)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.

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  (937): This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable. http://tfl.nu/352a
  Replies (25) Good night (1205) Bad night (5167)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.

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  (512): I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself. http://tfl.nu/i5og
  Replies (15) Good night (760) Bad night (3932)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.

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  (774): Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18. http://tfl.nu/z1g3
  Replies (14) Good night (3435) Bad night (700)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam

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  (813): I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam http://tfl.nu/m89k
  Replies (2) Good night (1141) Bad night (507)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!

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  (832): i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?! http://tfl.nu/yoqa
  Replies (9) Good night (2107) Bad night (460)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.

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  (847): I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time. http://tfl.nu/5b3l
  Replies (4) Good night (1060) Bad night (396)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?

  (734): View more from Michigan

  You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."

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  (734): Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed? (734): You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it." http://tfl.nu/yuio
  Replies (4) Good night (1025) Bad night (321)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob

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  (781): My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob http://tfl.nu/45ds
  Replies (5) Good night (992) Bad night (272)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?

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  (618): Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher? http://tfl.nu/1k5x
  Replies (3) Good night (337) Bad night (347)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.

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  (203): I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life. http://tfl.nu/lclu
  Replies (1) Good night (526) Bad night (294)

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