There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
