there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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