Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.

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(512): If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch. http://tfl.nu/hocy

Replies (39) Good night (1144) Bad night (1876)
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(503): View more from Oregon

24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.

(1-503): View more from Oregon

That's not a bad idea, actually...

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(503): 24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online. (1-503): That's not a bad idea, actually... http://tfl.nu/oxdt

Replies (19) Good night (4031) Bad night (690)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.

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(860): I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination. http://tfl.nu/f55n

Replies (4) Good night (3389) Bad night (713)
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(647): View more from Ontario

if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.

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(647): if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are. http://tfl.nu/2i80

Replies (6) Good night (5082) Bad night (621)
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(480): View more from Arizona

He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again

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(480): He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again http://tfl.nu/s0mc

Replies (9) Good night (3974) Bad night (930)
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(909): View more from California

According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack

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(909): According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack http://tfl.nu/ipzj

Replies (15) Good night (3658) Bad night (1463)
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(310): View more from California

I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.

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(310): I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer. http://tfl.nu/s9s7

Replies (6) Good night (2673) Bad night (1040)
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(214): View more from Texas

There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.

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(214): There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me. http://tfl.nu/ecsp

Replies (13) Good night (2907) Bad night (801)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

What time did you start drinking?

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Maybe.

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Maybe isn't a time...

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(617): What time did you start drinking? (978): Maybe. (617): Maybe isn't a time... http://tfl.nu/r4p5

Replies (14) Good night (6187) Bad night (933)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?

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(651): Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD? http://tfl.nu/tnlb

Replies (7) Good night (1590) Bad night (370)
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(516): View more from New York

Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA

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(516): Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA http://tfl.nu/40i2

Replies (2) Good night (1166) Bad night (455)
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(847): View more from Illinois

I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.

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(847): I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday. http://tfl.nu/imb1

Replies (9) Good night (518) Bad night (677)
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(785): View more from Kansas

Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.

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(785): Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas. http://tfl.nu/amy7

Replies (6) Good night (952) Bad night (285)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......

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(860): btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd....... http://tfl.nu/m4om

Replies (4) Good night (273) Bad night (692)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.

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(919): The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling. http://tfl.nu/ws33

Replies (1) Good night (349) Bad night (539)

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