Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
