Pants 0. Shit 1.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
