Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
