Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
