Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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