Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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