Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
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We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
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We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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