On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize