so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
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The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
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Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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