i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Who died my cat blue again?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
