I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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