dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
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Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
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He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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