I love black thongs
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
