Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
