I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
