He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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