I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Every concussion has its silver lining
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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