she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
