McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
