So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
