she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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