Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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