5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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