You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I can't trust your balls anymore.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
