but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
